Corine Stephanie

So today is our due date ... or it was supposed to be. I didn’t make it to the 40 week mark with Faith or Megan so I am sure (especially with our weather lately) that Corine would have been here before today. It's been five months and three weeks since our little one went to heaven.

This month has been a hard one. I have received numerous ‘new mommy’ mailings, that just remind me that my baby’s not here, and won’t be. I have seen a couple of ambulances that remind me of my own ambulance ride on that day. I have been in tears more this month than I think I was in Aug. My sweet children keep asking (and it has increased in the last few weeks) about our baby, and how to see her again (this is a blessing :)). Bless their sweet little souls! They have also been asking a lot more frequently, if there is another baby in Mommy’s tummy. HA (oh how I wish though) I have also noticed that they are ‘playing babies’ more, by putting small stuffed animals in their shirts... while it’s cute I usually ask them to please stop.

I am so thankful for the outpouring of support we received from our church, and the gals at MOPS, and from a particular friend (outside of either of the other two). Without the love, support and care (namely food) from these three groups/people I would have been a mess... taken longer to ‘come back to the real world’ ... and my family probably would not have known what to do with me. I know that we were in the right place(s) at that time, and I could not have asked for much better... given the circumstances.

What I am posting from here on out is a letter to Corine, and some pictures.

This first one is the ultrasound we had done the end of July, I love it (I admit I love all ultrasound pictures, even if they are not my own) she just looks so content in there, and I love that it is such a great profile.




This next one is the day before the miscarriage (isn’t God good? that I thought to take a picture that day, and not wait or put it off for a ‘better’ one). I still cannot believe how big I was at just 15 weeks!

Lastly, I am going to do something so hard... I am posting the Polaroid that the hospital took of Corine. I will tell you though that it was on of the hardest things to do, to actually take this picture out of our ‘Corine Box,’ scan it, name the scan and actually post it here. (feel privileged)

I miss her

Now for my letter to her:

Dear Sweet Corine Stephanie
Today was supposed to be your due date. I didn’t ever make it to either of your big sisters’ due dates, so I am sure that you would have been here by now, but today was officially when you were due. Mommy misses you! Your sisters and Daddy do too! We miss not getting to know who you were and what you looked like. We miss the things that come with a new baby, first foods and first smiles and first steps. I wonder if you would look like your sister Faith (and your mommy) or if you would like your sister Megan (and Daddy) or if you would have looked like a blend ... like little Micah from church.

I know that you are safe in Jesus’ arms, and that’s the best place to be... I do hope that He has let your great grandma Naomi hold you and that she has told you wonderful stories of your Daddy.

I hope that someday you will have a little brother or sister that we can tell about you. Your big sisters know that you were such a special baby, and they are both good big sisters and ask about you often. You have taken a piece of Mommy’s heart, and I won’t ever forget you.

I am sad that we had to say goodbye to you so early. God has a plan though, and He knows what’s best, so Mommy is trusting Him in that.

Mommy loves and misses you baby